how to deal with buyer’s remorse: a survival guide for your seemingly dumb decisions

we've all been there.

i just made a major real estate purchase in manhattan—easily one of the riskiest moves i’ve made. right after closing, i felt a flood of mixed emotions: uncertainty, second-guessing, the weight of a decision i couldn’t easily undo like so many before it. but sitting with that feeling, i started thinking more deeply about big, irreversible choices—how we process them, what makes them feel right or wrong, & how to navigate the uncertainty that comes with them. this is a post i wrote reflecting on that & how i now approach high-stakes decisions.

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so you bought the thing. maybe it’s a house, a car, an investment, or just an overpriced gadget that promised to make you a better person. the dopamine hit is gone, and now all you feel is dread. welcome to buyer’s remorse—the cognitive tax on choice in a world of infinite options. it’s like post-nut clarity but for capitalism.

step 1: recognize that regret is a feature, not a bug

buyer’s remorse isn’t a sign you made a mistake; it’s a sign you made a decision. the brain hates committing to one path when so many others exist. this is just your mind playing 4d chess against itself.

the real problem? you were sold the dream of an optimized life where every choice is correct. but that’s a myth. in reality, every decision closes doors. every “yes” is a thousand “nos.” remorse is just your brain grieving the roads not taken.

step 2: interrogate the source

ask yourself: what exactly is bothering you? is it the price? the fear that you could have done better? the realization that you didn’t need the thing at all? break it down. often, it’s not the purchase itself but the story you’re telling yourself about it.

sometimes, buyer’s remorse isn’t even about the purchase. it’s about identity. you thought buying the minimalist standing desk would turn you into a disciplined deep-work machine, but you’re still the same distracted mess. the problem isn’t the thing—it’s the fantasy you attached to it.

step 3: accept sunk costs & focus on next moves

money spent is money spent. dwelling on it won’t change anything. instead of spiraling, ask: how do I maximize value from what I have now? if it’s a house, how do you make it work for you (renting, leveraging equity, whatever)? if it’s a tech gadget, can it actually improve your workflow in unexpected ways? optimize forward, not backward.

if you bought a treadmill and it’s collecting dust, stop regretting the purchase and start using it—maybe not for running, but for walking while you take meetings. or resell it. or give it away & take the L gracefully. forward motion, always.

step 4: if it’s reversible, reverse it

return policies exist for a reason. if it’s a bad investment and there’s an out, take it. pride has no value here. smart people cut losses early.

there’s an art to reversing a bad decision without compounding it. don’t let ego make you double down. bad startup investment? get out if you can. bad stock trade? close the position. bad relationship? don’t waste another second. regret is a signal—listen to it before it calcifies into long-term stupidity.

step 5: integrate the lesson, move on

remorse is just data. next time, what process will you follow to avoid the same regret? maybe that means setting stricter spending rules, delaying purchases 24 hours, or defining success criteria before making a decision. make adjustments & keep living.

if you notice a pattern, say, you always regret impulse purchases made late at night—you can tweak your environment. delete shopping apps. put a friction delay in your decision-making process. force a waiting period before major buys. future you will be grateful.

the meta-remedy: reframe the story

remorse thrives on the narrative of loss. flip it. what did this purchase teach you? what opportunities has it unlocked that you wouldn’t have otherwise seen? even ‘bad’ purchases can become net positives with the right framing.

bought a bad investment property? maybe it forces you to learn more about real estate. wasted money on an online course? maybe it teaches you what kind of learning style actually works for you. bad buys can be tuition for future wisdom.

final thought: play the long game

if a purchase is haunting you, zoom out. will this matter in five years? ten? most buyer’s remorse fades into irrelevance. what sticks is your ability to adapt, recalibrate, & keep moving.

at the end of the day, money is just a tool, & mistakes are just tuition. don’t let buyer’s remorse paralyze you. learn, adapt, & keep playing the game. the only real mistake is letting a bad decision define you instead of refine you.